Hey Miss Brown! How’s you? Very well, I hope. How is the whole writing business coming up? Nicely, I presume.
I was looking out of my window when it came as a flash to write another letter to you about some thoughts that occur to me in the course of my day. I will share them with you.
I have always had problems with people trying to control me. It really drives me up the wall. I am aware that people who feel the need to control others often suffer from a great deal of anxiety, but this in no way excuses their actions. I detest it, really, I do. Till I read up on uncertainty and now, I no longer feel as much anger towards anyone who tries to control me.
It dawned on me that I myself also try to control my environment and circumstances, albeit in a subtle manner due to fear of uncertainty. I, like many other people, ascribed a negative meaning to uncertainty.
Think to yourself: is uncertainty necessarily a bad thing? Do things always have to go exactly as planned? Try to remember a situation where you weren’t so sure of the outcome of something but things turned out positively. For instance, you might be in traffic, not sure if you will make it to work at the appointed time. You probably did and now you can realize just how silly it was to have worried and tried to know if you would get to the office at the right time.
In life, we all need some element of uncertainty. If everything were so certain, we’d become robots, programmed to act and speak in a particular way. We wouldn’t have such well-developed hunches that guide us to act spontaneously. Life would lose its appeal for us. Imagine if you were certain you were going to die on Christmas day. You’d be so anxious, unable to enjoy the time between now and then.
In a similar vein, I wish to tell you that every relationship requires some element of uncertainty for us to develop ourselves. When I used to dabble into astrology and numerology, I’d look up the birth date of my prospective partner, trying to know if things would work out between us or not. If the report was unfavourable, I would just mark time till the end of the relationship. Then, I’d also ask people who knew me well do you think my relationship with Mark will lead to marriage? It was my desire for certainty that made me seek a huge amount of reassurance from those close to me. Unfortunately, there’s no angel that will come from Heaven to tell you your relationship will be a success or not, or that you shouldn’t invest in such and such business venture. You must be brave enough to take risks and give everything you do your best shot.
I could go on and on, but there is no need for that. You are a bright girl: I know you will be able to figure things out for yourself. As my parting gift to you, embrace uncertainty, it is not necessarily a bad thing!
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